ABDF

Mary Bernadad Sithamparappilai first met Project Director Bennett Hinkley a few months after the tsunami back in 2005, before ABDF was formed. At the time he was working with a group of independent volunteers engaged in projects to help deal with the tsunami crisis. Mary told her story, which has since been verified:

Mary and her husband had a love marriage, meaning it was not arranged. She is Roman Catholic, he was Hindu. As a result, the new couple was ostracized by both families, and disowned by both her parish church and his kovil (Hindu temple). This is a common and extremely unfortunate occurrence in Sri Lanka, and effectively cuts both people off from their communities. He eventually went to work in Saudi Arabia where in 2003 he was murdered under mysterious circumstances, leaving Mary a widow with six children. The kids range from the eldest daughter, Kavitha, to the youngest daughter, Abinaya (Abi) who was only two when the tsunami hit.

The entire family survived the tsunami, as all but one (Prinbha) were in town. Prinbha received a serious gash on her leg; when we met her it hadn’t been treated and was oozing (we immediately took her to the hospital and got her treatment and paid the bill).

Mary and Abi when Bennett and Jordan first met them.

Mary was clearly in a clinical depression. He husband was dead, leaving her with no income. Her home was wiped out and she was living in a tiny cadjan palm-leaf shack with six children, the second youngest (her son Deenu) having Down’s Syndrome, making him a real handful to deal with. She had no money for food, only a few pieces of clothes for her children, and she was finding the relief agencies unresponsive. She was suicidal; telling a neighbor she was going to poison her children then hang herself. The neighbor wisely advised her that before doing that, she ought to visit that nice group of foreigners living a few blocks away and see if they might help. That’s how Mary came to us.

2005: Jordan developed a special bond with Deenu. Actually, everybody did.

Mary’s story touched Bennett and the others deeply, and they decided to unofficially adopt the family. Short term help was given:

• Prinbha was taken to the doctor for proper treatment of her wound. She was healed within a week.
• The group located a school specifically for the mentally and physically handicapped and enrolled Deenu for day classes, and arranged for transportation. This helped Deenu develop social skills and kept him out of Mary’s hair during the daytime.
• Kavitha was enrolled in after-school computer courses. This increased her marital prospects (always a concern in Sri Lanka) as well as kept her busy after school.
• After weeks of begging, pleading, whining, and threatening, Jordan Korth, who later founded the Canadian group Foundation for a United Humanity convinced one of the housing agencies to bump Mary to the top of their list. Her four-room house was finished by December of 2005.
• After pooling resources and recruiting several other independent Western volunteers, an outdoor annex was attached to Mary’s hut. It turned out that Mary was an extraordinary cook. The annex was built and kitchen equipment purchased so that Mary could cook lunch for the crews at all the area construction sites. This would provide Mary a small income, as well as give her something to focus on.

2005: Prinbha in front of the new indoor/outdoor kitchen.

The results were immediate and noticeable. The family and their situation began to improve. But perhaps best of all, the light came back into Mary’s eyes, and the dead, blank look vanished. By the end of Bennett’s stay that year, Mary was laughing and smiling again.

Mary and her family in 2008: Back row, left to right: Mary, Kavippiriyan (Kavi), Prinbha. Front row: Nesappiriyan (Piriya), Thimppiriryan (Deenu), and Abinya (Abi). Not pictured: Kavitha, who had just gotten married.

Since then Bennett and Jordan have both continued to support Mary’s family, although in different ways. Jordan has concentrated on infrastructure, slowly enlarging and improving Mary’s house. Bennett has concentrated on education, and he, along with his family, have been paying for little Abi’s schooling.

Somehow Abi got into the grandiosely named Eastern Academy of World Education (!), the top preschool through elementary institution in the District. The curriculum is rigorous, and entirely in English. Abi started in 2008, and in the fall of 2009 will enter first grade. The effects on Abi have been astonishing. Not only is she getting surprisingly good in English, but she is performing well in all her classes. More importantly, Abi has gone from a shy little thing to an outgoing, intelligent, socially active little girl. She has a good future ahead of her, if she can stay in the school. This is where ABDF comes in.

2008: Abi’s preschool class at Eastern Academy.

ABDF has decided to take on Mary’s family, and specifically Abi’s education, as an official project. The reason is two-fold. ABDF feels that it is time to recognize all the aid given by Bennett and his family since 2005. Additionally, ABDF hopes that if people come to learn about Mary and her family, they will be moved to step up and offer help. Or if not Mary, than one of the thousands upon thousands of other families with similar desperate situations.

A rough estimate of Abi’s education costs for one school year are as follows:

• $142 – tuition for two semesters
• $160 – 12 months of after-school tutoring at 1,500 rupees a month
• $160 – 12 months hire of trishaw for round trip between home and school at 1,500 rupees a month
• $45 – Guestimate for school supplies for 1 year
• $507 – Total estimated cost for 1 year

(Note that these are estimates; for example the school fees are for preschool – as of this writing, the school is closed for the month of August and so the Project Director can’t get the cost for first grade. This information will be updated as information becomes available.)

Please contact ABDF to help Mary and her family!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 at 6:29 pm and is filed under Factsheets, Ongoing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.